Ryan Jones Blog – dotCULT.com Ryan Jones Blogs About Internet Culture, Marketing, SEO, & Social Media

Slashdot reports that the web turned 16 years old today, and they celebrate by showing us the oldest webpage that’s still unmodified.

16 wow… it seems like just yesterday it was still wearing diapers.

It’s starting to show it’s age too. Just like a normal teenager it uses bad grammar, is totally obsessed with porn, and thinks it knows everything.

So what does one get the internet for it’s birthday? A New Car? A Party?

I look forward to having a bash when the web turns 21. Should be a riot! How are you celebrating the web’s birthday?

Usng Txt Spk on Exms in NZ iz 2 b ok nw dat da NZ QA sd dat stdnts cn uz txt spk on x-ams as lng as itz rdable. Da NZQA stil sez 2 uze prpr Nglsh but dat stdnts wont B mrkd dwn as lng as da answr clrly shws da prpr undrstndg o da mtrl.

“I thnk txt msgng iz 1 o do mst exctng thngs dat hs hpnd n a lng tm.” sd Denis Pyat, addng dat he wld not encrg stdnts to uz txt spk or abbrv on xms.

da dcsn of crse dsn’t aply 2 tsts whr punct & grmmr R Bn Grd. Notr tchr, Steven Route sed dat “stdnts nd 2 b able 2 wrt & undrstd prp eng,” ntng dat shakespeare ddnt say “2b o nt 2b.”

WTF?

November 7th is a day of choice. It’s a day where Americans can let their voice be heard. None was heard louder than the voice of Britney Spears when she told the parasitic K-Fed to take a hike. That’s right, the former mousketeer filed for a divorce from Kevin Federline.

Britney’s parents are calling her as we speak to say “see, aren’t you glad we made you get that pre-nup?” According to the pre-nup agreement, all gifts over 10,000 will be returned to the purchaser, Britney will stop paying cletus’s child support to Char Jackson, and they’ll split the house.

In other less important news, some sort of election or something was held in the United States.

Did You Vote Yet? Don’t Forget!

The polls are open until 8.

Election time is finally upon us and I can’t be more relieved. I’ll be so happy when all of these damned commercials finally stop. I can’t speak for the rest of the country, but it seems like Dick Devos has been campaigning since June.

I wouldn’t be so annoyed if they were good commercials – but they’re not. I’ve heard 20 million reasons why I shouldn’t vote for candidates but I’ve yet to see one commercial that says “Hi, I’m candidate and here’s why you should vote for me.” Apparantley those don’t work anymore.

For once I’d like to see a candidate come out and say “I am going to lie, cheat, steal, and do whatever I can to benefit myself.” At least then I’d know he’s honest.

Some of the ballot prosals here are also a bit weird. I’ve always wondered why we get to vote on some laws and not others and what determines that. If you know, can you explain? I’d prefer we vote on all laws – especially at the federal level

I already discussed the affirmative action proposal, so I won’t go into more on that. There’s one to elimiate dove hunting which I don’t understand either side of. Dove’s aren’t over populated, and you really can’t eat a dove after you shoot it. But on the other side, they’re not endangered and hunting them doesn’t do any harm. I guess I don’t care either way.

There’s another propsal that basically ensures teachers get a raise every year. I wish they had one of those for my job. I think that’s a bit retarded.. how about we let your performance dictate your raise. Don’t like it? Don’t be a teacher.

Don’t even get me started on candidates visiting churches..thank god (sic) there’s only one more day left of these ads.

With the All Star game tomorrow and the Super Bowl coming later this year to Detroit, we at dotCULT would like to provide the following primer on driving to and from your destination in Detroit.

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It’s Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we

will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.

Detroit has its own version of traffic rules… Hold on and pray!

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to

7:00pm. Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you

will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you’re first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a

native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94,I-96,

I-75,I-275,I-375, The Lodge and The Southfield

Freeways are a way of life. Just deal with it.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on,

it is probably a factory defect or they are “out-of-towners”

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85

regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is

considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don’t even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the

bumper sticker that says “Keep honking, I’m

reloading.” It’s not a joke.

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70

in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving ‘because they are so friendly in Detroit’. I would suggest youduck.

13. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It’s not M-10, it’s “the Lodge”.

15. That’s not a lake, it’s a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it’s on Outer Drive, you

better hope you have a map.

17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.

18. We have 4 seasons in Detroit: Almost Winter, Winter, Still fucking winter, and construction barrel.

What does equality mean to you? Does it mean treating everybody equal? Does it mean that everybody – regardless of race, religion, gender, or beliefs – gets the same opportunities? That’s what it means to me. Equality means being blind to one’s skin color, one’s religion, what particular apparatus they have between their legs, and what they believe in.

Treating somebody equal means that when it comes to selling a house, I’ll sell it to the best offer – not the best male offer, or best offer from a white family, or not even the best offer from a straight couple.

Equality means that I’ll admit people to college based upon their grades, community service, and extracurricular activities – and I won’t do so just to fill a quota.

Michigan’s proposal 2 aims to do just that. Opponents of the proposal claim that it’ll cut funding for women and minorities – and it will. It’s part of being equal. Being equal means NOT giving blacks and asians an extra tenth of a point on their college applications. It means not hiring somebody just because they’re female, but because they’re qualified for the job.

ADL.org defines http://crochet247.com/tag/summer-scarves/ racism as Racism is prejudice or discrimination based on the belief that race is the primary factor determining human traits and abilities. Princeton defines prejudice with one simple word: bias – and that’s exactly what affirmative action is: Bias.

It’s Bias toward minorities, but bias nonetheless. I’ve still yet to hear a compelling reason why a minority deserves preference over a non minority, and I’m convinced that there isn’t one. Given the definitions, it doesn’t make sense to use “equality” and “affirmative action” as the same thing – they’re 100% opposites.

You may have heard the opponents of proposal 2 claim that it would cut funding for programs like breast cancer checks for women – and it will. The reason is simple: There’s no such thing for men. There’s no free programs that offer prostate checks for men, and proposal 2 says that’s not fair. It’s certainly not equal.

You may have heard them talk about college makeups, and how there’s more whites than blacks at certain colleges. I propose that this isn’t about racism – it’s about statistics. The same goes for prison populations. Take Detroit for example. Most of the population is black. It only stands to reason then that most of the Detroit prison population would also be black. I’m not saying blacks commit more crimes; they probably don’t. I’m just saying that if 80% of the population is black, and all races have the same tendency to commit a crime, then 80% of the criminals should also be black. The same holds true for students. If 80% of california is white, then 80% of UCLA students will probably also be white.

Anyway, I don’t want to tell you how to vote this November 7th. Just vote, either way. But please stop handing out pamphlets telling me that your prejudicial ideas are about equality.

Wow, Halloween was a few days ago. I barely noticed. I was invited to play hockey on tuesday, and since I got new skates I couldn’t pass up a chance to break them in. Man do my feet hurt!

Anyway, I returned home from hockey at 8pm to see that every neighbor on my street’s porchlight was out. In fact only 1 group of kids came to my door, and it was after I turned the light out and while I was in the bathroom – so no candy for them.

I’m going to see Roger Clyne and the PeaceMakers tonight at the Magic Bag. I’ve never even heard of that place, but I hear it’s really small. If you like southern rock you should check them out. They’re sorta like cracker meets matchbox20 meets gin blossoms and all go to mexico for the weekend. If you remember the refreshments, this is the lead singer’s new band.

Anyway.. I’ll post something with some real content tomorrow.