December 5, 2021

New Parental Responsibility Law

WASHINGTON DC — In a 6-1 decision, the supreme court ruled today that not only game makers, but parents and grandparents as well can be held accountable if their child commits a crime as a result of playing a video game.

Recently passed House Bill 2718 states that if anyone under 18 commits a crime that is in any way related to a video game, the video game company can be held legally liable.

House Bill 2719 expands on that, to hold parents and grandparents responsible as well.

Supporters of the bill say that despite their MA rating, kids under 18 are playing games like Grand Theft Auto or Call of Duty and becoming desensitized to violence.

The purpose of the bill is to shift all responsibility from the person who actually commited the crime. “Parents who allow their children to play games, despite their age requirement should take full responsibility for whatever actions occur,” says representative Joe Fisher of Utah.

Today’s children are so desensitized to violence, that they don’t know it’s wrong to walk up to somebody on the street and hit them in the head with a baseball bat.

“Parents should know better” says Teresa Scaggs, a homemaker from rural Wisconsin. “If they can’t raise their children to know the difference between reality and video games they should be punished.”

“Just like John Madden Football helps prepare our children for multi-million dollar NFL careers, games like GTA and Halo only prepare our children for a life behind bars” says concerned parent Sheryl Haggardy of Mount Pelier.

In extreme cases, the law even applies to grandparents citing “failure to raise children who are capable of properly raising children”. While a juvenile may receive probation for a video-game related crime, parents and grandmothers can face anywhere from 3 years for a first time offender up to 15 years for a parent of a repeat offender.

“While it’s true we banned the death penalty for juveniles who commited their crimes before they were 18, there is no law stating we can’t execute their parents,” says Supreme Court Justice Roland Phizer (R Texas), “We’re always thinking of creative ways to apply the death penalty and eliminate prison overcrowding.”

Bill 2179 is just the latest in a series of attempts to put the blame where it really belongs: Corporate America. Similar legislation was first attempted, but fell 3 votes short of passing in August 1983 after a rash of Yogi Bear inspired picnic basket thefts.

About Ryan Jones

Ryan Jones is an SEO from Detroit. By day he works as a manager of SEO & Analytics at SapientNitro where his team performs SEO for Fortune500 clients. By night he's either playing hockey or attempting to take over the world with his own websites - which he would have already succeeded in doing had it not been for those meddling kids and their dog. The views expressed here have not been paid for and belong only to Ryan, not any of his employers or clients. Follow Ryan on Twitter at: @RyanJones, add him on Google+ or visit his personal website: www.RyanMJones.com