November 29, 2021

Do Not Threaten To Castrate The President

You work in a mental hospital. One of your patients is ranting about killing all jews when he suddenly mentions castrating the president. Which of the following do you do?

a.) Ignore him, he IS a mental patient.
b.) Treat him for his mental illness
c.) Call the secret service

Most people would choose a or b, however not if said patient’s name is Arafat Nijmeh. In that case, you throw them in jail for 7 months.

Now, I know it’s illegal to threaten the president. But such threats need to be examined rationally. Is there any way he could have actually castrated the president? (insert bush having no balls joke here…) I’ve never heard of somebody who’s already locked up being regarded as a threat to the president. Maybe I just don’t see it.

About Ryan Jones

Ryan Jones is an SEO from Detroit. By day he works as a manager of SEO & Analytics at SapientNitro where his team performs SEO for Fortune500 clients. By night he's either playing hockey or attempting to take over the world with his own websites - which he would have already succeeded in doing had it not been for those meddling kids and their dog. The views expressed here have not been paid for and belong only to Ryan, not any of his employers or clients. Follow Ryan on Twitter at: @RyanJones, add him on Google+ or visit his personal website: www.RyanMJones.com