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November 30, 2006

A Broken Winged Bird

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ryan Jones @ 12:00 am

Shizukuishi You ever have one of those A-Ha moments? I came across an old Langston Hughes poem today called Dreams and had mine.

Lately I’ve been going through what I call a quarter life crisis (although it could just be a stirring in my soul. You know the feeling: it’s the “is this what I want to do for the next 30 years” type feeling.

If you ask me, a mid-life crisis has nothing on what I’m going through. I’m assuming it’s common with most people in their mid twenties. We’re out of college, working, have a house etc. Basically, we’re just starting to get stuck in our rut.

That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve lost a lot of motivation to work, I’m debating about doing something drastic like moving to another state, and basically asking myself “what do I do now?” It’s reminiscent of that bathtub scene in fight club. I too find myself asking “what next dad?”

So where does this poem come in? Well, I just realized it all has to do with dreams. See, in high school the “dream” is to go to college. In college it’s to graduate, then get a job. Once you get a job you get a house, etc. But now what? Settle down and wait until retirement? That’s not much of a dream…and maybe that’s why I’m depressed.

All through college when I’d have a long day at Wendys I’d re-assure myself that it’s all part of doing what I need to do to achieve my dreams. But now I’ve achieved them, so what do I do?

I know some of you are saying “duh, get more dreams” but most dreams would pale compared to the “get a degree/job/house” type. So at least now I’ve figured out what’s going on in my life. If anybody has any suggestions for how to fix it, let me know. Maybe another degree? A job in a new state (somewhere warm)?

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