August 11, 2022

Why I’m Not Voting For [your candidate]

If you ever look at political ads during a presidential election, you’ll find they give you thousands of reasons NOT to vote for somebody, but no reasons why you should actually vote for somebody.

I know that most people are going to blindly vote by party, or vote based on the nationality of one’s wife, their middle name, religious views, gender, skin color, spelling of the world “flak jacket,” or some other stupid reason that has nothing to do with how well they run the country – that’s why the primary election actually matters a lot more than the final presidential election. With Michigan’s primary rapidly approaching, I wanted to talk about the weaknesses I see in each candidate.

I know, I know, I should concentrate on strengths, but I feel that the weaknesses are what can get us in the most trouble. Elections always remind me of that scene from the 3 stooges where Curly holds out his fingers and tells Moe to “pick 2” – then pokes Moe in the eyes with the 2 fingers that he picked. Picking candidates works along the same lines.

So let’s get started:

http://dnasab.net/2012/09/20/john-f-simon-jr-winds-across-the-inner-sea/ John McCain
His political ads make him look good, and I like the fact that he’s all for cutting spending – but that’s all I like. McCain thinks that Bush’s “surge” is working and wants to commit more troops to Iraq. If there’s anything we don’t need, that’s it. McCain also favors social security for illegal immigrants. We’re already worrying about whether or not that money will be there when I’m an old man, allowing more people to apply (who haven’t paid into it) won’t solve that situation.

In addition, McCain’s proposed bills as senator have shown that he lacks even a basic understanding of the internet. Such proposals include a public list of sex offender email addresses and IM handles (I don’t see any possible misuse here) as well as a bill requiring all internet service providers to scan emails and forward anything that could be harmful to children to the government – or face a huge fine. That’s right, McCain favors reading your email.

http://sjfiremuseum.org/wp-content/plugins/backup_index.php Rudy Giuliani
I don’t even know how this guy got to be a candidate. Actually, yes I do – America’s obsession with 9/11. It doesn’t matter what this guy says or does, all people seem to do is say “OMG, 9/11” and pledge their support for him. Before 9/11, all of New York hated this guy. Even his own kids hate him. I’m not sure about you, but something doesn’t sound right if his own kids won’t even vote for him for president. That’s all it took to lose my vote. Rudy is also trying to create a national database of illegal immigrants. Given our govt’s proven inability with lists of anything, we don’t need more databases. He also says we need a long term commitment to focus on achieving “victory” in Iraq.

Mitt Romney
Romney is a businessman. He’s actually proposing incentives to companies so that they can drill in the arctic national wildlife refuge for oil. Like most republicans, Romney has drank the “surge is working” Kool Aid. Romney also wants to mandate health insurance, and wants to implement biometric identification and employment verification for immigrants. (Papers please?)

Ron Paul
Ron Paul is a free market advocate. He’s against any government involvement in healthcare, or energy, or anything else. He’s also against the war in Iraq, and in favor of stronger border protections (without biometric ids or databases.. simply more people working the border) If you’re a card carrying republican, you’re supposed to not like this stuff – read the back of your card.

I’m only looking at major players (and Ron Paul so that I don’t get all those what about Ron Paul comments from the botnet) so I’m sorry that I can’t profile Huckabee, Hunter, or Thompson. Let’s face it, they’re not going to win the nomination.

Ok, Democrats:

Hilary Clinton
We’ve all seen the email saying that if Hilary can run the country then Brett Favre’s wife can play quarterback. It may be funny, but it’s totally untrue. Gender and athleticism matter in the NFL, but in politics all you need is a mind, and money.

Hilary wants to eliminate tax breaks for oil companies and ban drilling in the arctic wildlife refuge. If you’re an oil man, this is why you hate Hilary. She also proposes universal healthcare by the end of her 2nd term (optimistic?) She’s in favor of putting a fence along the border (I say, why a fence? Why not an 800 mile walmart? It’ll create tons of jobs for immigrants and a tourist attraction as well). As far as the war is concerned, Hilary supports the war but wants a firm pull-out date. She’s also, OMG, a woman! That’s right. Hilary is a girl. That’s enough for many Americans to automatically jump on the anti Hilary bandwagon.

Barack Obama
The major drawbacks for Barack are that he’s black, and his name sounds like Osama. I’d love to pretend that racism doesn’t exist in America, but let’s face it, it does. In fact, I’m sure that even a few of my readers will stop right there – having all the information they need not to vote for him. It’s quite sad. Not me though. I’m voting against him for other reasons.

For those of you that care, here they are:
Obama wants to spend $250mil / year on helping new businesses, and $1bil on career help for low income workers. He’s in favor of national healthcare, but only for people who don’t get it from work and won’t buy their own. He’s in favor of more border security and a clear path to citizenship for immigrants. He wants to pull troops out of Iraq, but move them into other areas to help fight terrorism.

John Edwards
Edwards is pro union, and is in favor of making it easier for workers to organize. Since I’m anti union, this is my biggest drawback here. He wants to look into high gas prices, and favors alternative energy (but then, which candidate doesn’t favor alternative energy?) He plans on making healthcare mandatory by eliminating Bush’s tax cuts. Under his plan, not having healthcare would be a crime. He has the same border views as Obama – more security, path to citizenship. Like all the democrats, he’s also calling for a pull out of Iraq.

Again, sorry to the Gravel and Kucinich supporters but my bookie isn’t even giving odds on them, so I’m already counting them out.

So there you have it. Lots of reasons why we’re going to spend the next 4-8 years bitching about the same things we’ve spent the last 8 years bitching about. So make sure you register as a Democrat or Republican before your primary (you can always change it later) and get out there and vote – just remember to wear some eye protection.

http://blumberger.net/publications-topic/ About Ryan Jones

Ryan Jones is an SEO from Detroit. By day he works as a manager of SEO & Analytics at SapientNitro where his team performs SEO for Fortune500 clients. By night he's either playing hockey or attempting to take over the world with his own websites - which he would have already succeeded in doing had it not been for those meddling kids and their dog. The views expressed here have not been paid for and belong only to Ryan, not any of his employers or clients. Follow Ryan on Twitter at: @RyanJones, add him on Google+ or visit his personal website: www.RyanMJones.com