December 5, 2021

6 Girls Charged in Energizer Bunny Plot

From the schools don’t over-react to things file comes this story on CNN claiming that 6 girls (ages 14-15) have been charged with homicide consipiracy for planning to kill a list of people including the Energizer Bunny, Tom Cruise, and Oprah Winfrey.

While none of the girls had any weapons, it would seem one of them had a MySpace account that had the word kill on it somewhere. (of course we don’t know where because the page has been removed.)

Using the word kill is clearly a very serious attempt on a person’s life, and I’m sure it will be revealed shortly that MySpace is to blame for this.

About Ryan Jones

Ryan Jones is an SEO from Detroit. By day he works as a manager of SEO & Analytics at SapientNitro where his team performs SEO for Fortune500 clients. By night he's either playing hockey or attempting to take over the world with his own websites - which he would have already succeeded in doing had it not been for those meddling kids and their dog. The views expressed here have not been paid for and belong only to Ryan, not any of his employers or clients. Follow Ryan on Twitter at: @RyanJones, add him on Google+ or visit his personal website: www.RyanMJones.com

Comments

  1. Clearly, MySpace was in clear violation. I mean, they allowed it to happen on their servers. I think the Energizer Bunny should sue MySpace for letting this happen.

    And you also used the word “kill” on your post. And I see here the words “Energizer Bunny”… oh my god, you are plotting against the Bunny too!

    Oh wait… my comment also has the word “kill” and then the word “Energizer Bunny”… I’m a freakin’ assassin and I didn’t even know it!

    I also see here that on the list of “related posts” there is the post “that’s some bad hat harry”… which means there is also a plot on your server to kill a man named Harry, who spends his days dressed up like the Energizer Bunny!

    It all makes sense now.

  2. Joe Bedlambambooze says

    The energiser bunny is clearly framing girls here, he’s been doing it for years. I saw a fox news report where it showed him framing little girls and forcing sex on them, then he’d drop the charges.