December 5, 2021

Bunch of Savages in this town

Whoever keeps breaking into my Jeep, please stop.

As you saw the first 2 times, there was nothing valuable in there. The first time you made off with an antenna ball, and $3 in change.

The next time, it was about $1 in change, AND you decided to make a mess of the car.

Today, you got away with exactly 76 cents. (I know because it was 1 day’s worth of change from dinner) Was that really worth unzipping my windows, unlocking the door, and rumaging through the car a whole 6 feet from my bedroom window?

I’ve asked police to step up patrol in what I thought used to be a safe area of the city. I do have some advice for you though.

Look harder next time, as this morning while seeing what you stole, I found $0.61 underneath the passenger seat. I’ll leave it in the driveway for you right underneath the new CCTV security system I’m going to purchase, as you obviously need my pocket change more than I do.

About Ryan Jones

Ryan Jones is an SEO from Detroit. By day he works as a manager of SEO & Analytics at SapientNitro where his team performs SEO for Fortune500 clients. By night he's either playing hockey or attempting to take over the world with his own websites - which he would have already succeeded in doing had it not been for those meddling kids and their dog. The views expressed here have not been paid for and belong only to Ryan, not any of his employers or clients. Follow Ryan on Twitter at: @RyanJones, add him on Google+ or visit his personal website: www.RyanMJones.com