Archive for December, 2005
Whoever keeps breaking into my Jeep, please stop.
As you saw the first 2 times, there was nothing valuable in there. The first time you made off with an antenna ball, and $3 in change.
The next time, it was about $1 in change, AND you decided to make a mess of the car.
Today, you got away with exactly 76 cents. (I know because it was 1 day’s worth of change from dinner) Was that really worth unzipping my windows, unlocking the door, and rumaging through the car a whole 6 feet from my bedroom window?
I’ve asked police to step up patrol in what I thought used to be a safe area of the city. I do have some advice for you though.
Look harder next time, as this morning while seeing what you stole, I found $0.61 underneath the passenger seat. I’ll leave it in the driveway for you right underneath the new CCTV security system I’m going to purchase, as you obviously need my pocket change more than I do.
December 12th, 2005
Just a quick note to say that Kansas currently Ranks Last in educational science standards.
I’m no expert, but it might have something to do with the fact that they teach intelligent design in schools there.
Whether it’s how the world was created or not, intelligent design is not a science. There is no scientific method involved whatsoever.
In fact, the most common argument I hear for it is “you can’t prove evolution, and the bible says intelligent design so it must be true”.
I’m sorry, but “because the bible says so” is not the least bit scientific.
You don’t see people running around saying “this is what happened because L Ron Hubbard said so” … oh wait, I guess people really do believe anything.
Regardless of what you believe though, if you didn’t arrive at it through the scientific method, please leave it out of your science class.
December 8th, 2005
The internet is not a direct marketing medium. Now that I?ve got that out of the way, it IS a great place to practice direct marketing. No, I?m not going crazy but before I can explain what I mean, we?ll need to get you thinking like a direct marketer (ok so maybe just a little bit crazy)
Here?s a largely accepted fact you probably already know: Most people don?t read direct mail.
Here?s another fact that you probably aren?t aware of: Most people don?t read your website either. It?s not that you don?t have anything interesting to say, you just don?t know how to say it properly.
You may be the best writer in the word; prose just flows out of your pen. Scrap it. People don?t want lengthy stuff on the net. They want to be able to skim. Just look how choppy this article is. It?s not very poetic, but you are still reading it right?
The internet consumer is a different kind of consumer. They don?t do things in order. Think of how you do a mailer; you put your offer in the letter, on the form, and on the reply envelope. Your offer is in short little burst everywhere right? Why It?s mail, you don?t know what they will pull out of your envelope first.
The internet is the same way. Just because text is there doesn?t mean anybody is going to read it. People will skip around. They want action, something to click and something to do.
Give them clear precise actions to take, and call them to those actions with small bits of powerful text. You?ll notice a difference.
December 8th, 2005
You know how they say a picture is worth 1000 words? In this case, I think 997 of them are “Ha”.
The sheer stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me eh?
December 7th, 2005
Remember the southern lady smoking a cigarette and worried about the effects of a jackhammer on her unborn baby?
If you thought she was stupid, check out these Rednecks and their version of a “roller coaster”.
Reading about 3 redneck pancakes on fark.com in 3….2….
December 7th, 2005
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
That’s the 4th ammendment. Not many Americans know that.
I read a poll recently that says 63% of americans support the NSA tapping their phones in an effort to combat terrorism.
I contend that 63% of Americans hate America.
Anybody who will allow the govt to go against the constitution can NOT be a patriot. A patriot defends the very principles the country was built on. A patriot is NOT one who blindly follows their govt. It’s time we get our definitions right.
Americans don’t want freedom. Americans want the “freedom” to do what the government tells us to do. We want common sense to be legislated. Morals legislated. We even want to be told how to spend our money and what to spend it on (anti gambling laws etc).
We want to to be told how to have sex, and with whom. What to do in our own houses. Who to call. What information of ours is private and public (phone calls, searches, etc)
We want to swim into the net with the rest of the fish, because it’s a big lonely ocean out there by ourselves.
Remember America, we have to swim in the pond where we shit.
December 6th, 2005
God creates dinosaurs
God destroys dinosaurs
God creates man
Man destroys God
Man creates dinosaurs
Dinosaurs eat man.
Man destroys dinosaurs.
Man creates 2 sequels.
Drexler warns of grey goo.
Man creates grey goo.
Grey goo destroys man?
December 5th, 2005
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